Thursday, November 26, 2009

You Crazy, Fucking Mess

Last evening, while killing time before I played guitar at a bar, a sexy little blond (+1 point), with green eyes (+1 point), above 5'8" (+1 point), a smoking hot body (+1 point) and a very unique name (+1 point [don't ask]) interrupted me as I drug the Marlboro smoke into my lungs.

"Excuse me" the lass said, "You're Freddy, right?"

I lifted my head a bit, looked at her, let it slowly drop back down and told the newest bar-chick-who-wanted-to-get-with-the-guy-who-plays-on-Wednesday-nights, yes.

"I've heard that you're a pretty good guitar player and an excellent singer," said she.

With such flattery, of course my interest in her began to rise.

"But you smoke. You're crazy if you think I'd ever fuck you," spoke her.

Did I start the conversation with her? Was my attraction so obvious to her to build the assumption of me wanting to skip my next set so I could take her back to my joint and bang out?

Nope.

She walked away from me. I blew the next drag of smoke toward the back of her head.

20-minutes later, she was back. And much to my confusion, she asked if I was Freddy again. Again, after nodding, she told me that I was crazy if I thought she was going to fuck me.

What? Did she suffer from some sort of disorder which made her forget she has already spoken to people?

I took the stage, played a set and re-took my stool at the bar for a short break. Withing minutes, the confused girl was back and before she even opened her mouth I told her I was Freddy and I didn't want to fuck her.

She made a silly face at me and walked away.

Another set I played, another break I took, yet again, another visit from the loco lady.

"Excuse me, are you Freddy?" says she.

I just looked at her with disbelief and tired of having the same conversation with her. Ignoring her and ordering another drink, I felt her hand on my back. As I turned to remind the crazy mess she had already told me I had no chance with her, and all the other fun shit she had said, she opened her mouth and told me that she wanted me to come home with her.

"What's your fucking deal," I say?

"I only said those things because I wanted you to want me. For you to think I'd be a challenge for you", says the goofy broad.

I'm crazy?

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