Monday, November 23, 2009

Christmas Came Early This Year

People go their whole lives and don't experience something this great. The thrill, the excitement, the rush is unmatched.

I'm not talking about winning the lottery. I'm not talking about a whirlwind love affair.

I'm talking about discovering photos of someone you know very well on a weird fetish porn site.

I was awoken at 2:30 this morning by a phone call from my non-boyfriend gushing the exciting news.

In order for this discovery to be truly great, there needs to be certain qualities. Luckily my situation has all of the attributes of pure greatness.

1. You need to know the girl well enough that it's a big deal, but you can't be good enough friends that you feel guilty getting excited over it. We've all heard stories that so-and-so saw so-and-so's best friend's sister on a porn site... But you don't know the girl, so who cares? Plus, who knows if it's even true. You need to have a personal relationship with the girl in order for this to be a truly amazing experience.

2. Bonus points if you know her in a professional capacity. It just so happens that I know this girl in both a social AND professional capacity. Fucking awesome.

3. It's always better if there's some sort of mystery or suspense involved. I was sent the photo this morning, so I know it's real... But neither of us have access to a personal computer right now, so we can't explore this further. Are there videos of this girl? Just how dirty does this get? Just how thorough is this site with the fetish? Obviously we need to become members of this site so we have access to the VIP shit. I may have to sneak out of work early.

4. Secrecy. If everyone knows, it's not nearly as exciting. My non-boyfriend, his friend, and I are the only three people I know who are aware of this. I want to tell someone so badly but I know that would ruin it. So this is my outlet.

5. The girl needs to exude a certain level of innocence, morality. It needs to be a huge shock that she would ever do such a thing. My girl has had a serious boyfriend for years. She would never cheat on him. She's pretty, not at all skanky, doesn't drink or party much. She's an ideal candidate.

6. The discovery should answer some age old questions. My girl always has a ton of money but doesn't have an especially well-paying job. But she was able to quit that not especially well-paying job to travel the world with her boyfriend, who also doesn't have a real job. It all makes sense now.

I'm like a little kid on Christmas Eve right now. I just can't wait to rush home and see what Santa brought me on the wonderful world wide web.



1 comment:

  1. The important question, my sweet BostonGirl is wether or not there will there be pictures posted, perhaps a link to the site, on This Too Is By Us? There better be, damn it!

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