Once upon a time, in a land far away, I wanted to be the leader of the free world. The only problem with my thoughts at the time was I was only 6-years old and still wore my Winnie the Pooh slippers around the house, and to the market with my parents and to school. The only time that I actually took the things off was when I played with my G.I. Joe figurines in the tub and when I was dragged to church.
I used to tell my mom that God wouldn’t be mad if I wore my slippers into his house because he knew they made me comfortable. That if I needed a little help with gaining comfort to go on Sunday morning to pray with the masses, I could wear them. She didn’t buy it and made me wear my old brown Penny Loafers. I hated those fucking shoes.
Me and my Pooh’s, as I called them, were going to be something big together someday. Perhaps the president of a multi-million dollar company or the owner of a elegantly swanky Italian restaurant in the Little Italy neighborhood of Chicago, or maybe, just maybe, the President of those United States.
I use the words: those United States, because I wanted and dreamed of being The Big Guy in charge back then. I remember the first time that I was introduced to JFK through a video at school. He impressed the fuck out of me and I wanted to be just like him. I figured because I was Catholic and Irish, I could be just like the guy.
But now, the past three or four dick bags that had the helm of this country have changed my mind. I really don’t want to be The Big Guy any longer. Back when JFK was calling the shots, there wasn’t as much in house bull shit as there is today.
Like this war that's going on, complete and total crap. Super man himself, Georgie Porgie Bush, didn’t even consider Osama bin Laden to be his, or our troops fighting in the fucking wasteland that they’re fighting in, a top priority while he was our president.
Say what?
May I ask what the fuck was a top priority when you were The Prez George? Seriously, why did you keep spending OUR FUCKING MONEY to keep searching for the cock sucker if he wasn’t our top priority?
Everybody and their mother who was protesting at a church in Chicago a few years back to have the illegal immigrant woman that was holed up in the Southside church sent back to Mexico without her child because, unlike her, he was a legal American because was born here. Our maybe one day inmate / ex governor Rod Blagovich, payed her no attention, but to the Mayor of Chicago, Richard Dailey, the same guy that decided people could happily live off of a $6.00 wage, was shitting pine cones and pissing vinegar about it. Why Tricky Dick Daley, did you give such a fuck about ONE illegal immigrant in your city? Instead of spending the time and money to rid that woman from MY city, why didn’t you spend it on stopping the high school kids at Chicago Public Schools from getting killed? Or to speed up the “long awaited” CTA improvement project that is still nowhere close to being fucking finished? But no, don't do that kind of thing, blow the city's money trying to drive ONE illegal lady out. That and blowing it all on trying to improve the entire fucking city so that the Olympic’s that you so badly wanted to host here, could actually happen?
Celebrities that raise money to feed people in far of countries. Why not raise the fucking money for the starving families in this country? Are our own people not good enough for you Angelina and Brad? You want to keep adopting their kids, go ahead, be my guest, but instead of spending mega-millions to feed and nourish and care for the people of Bu-Fu Fucking Wherever, take care of your own first.
The old asshole’s who were in charge of the Cubs. If I would have heard you fucker’s say “It’s a re-building year” or “He has very good potential of becoming an outstanding player in the future” or “Prices will not be changed” one more time, I was going to lose my mind. You got rid of Kerry Wood, Felix Pie....good job, but if you fucked this city one more time, the entire city North of Roosevelt Rd. was gonna bash your asses with 2X4's.
When I was six, I wore Winnie the Pooh slippers and wanted to be President of the United States of America, or the president of something. Though I’ve still got the slippers, I really don’t think that I’d be able to handle anything like that dream I had as a kid. Too much pressure to please everybody would be the death of me for sure. And with that, I can remember what it was the JFK said that day in class on the video:
“Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men."
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