Waiting...

“I see a lot of qualities in you that I want in a girlfriend or in the person I spend the rest of my
life with. I’ve told my parents that. I’ve told my friends and family. You are the perfect girl
for me. I know that.”

Okay, waiting for the “but”…

“I just move extremely slowly. It’s really hard for me to get past a certain point.”

There it is. Hmm… this sounds familiar. I think I’ve heard this before... in about ten to fifteen
past failed attempts at relationships… Oh yeah, and in my nightmares almost every night.

“I’ve really only had three girlfriends my whole life…”

Okay, let’s do the math… He’s 32 now… that’s about 17 years of “dating age”… divided by 3…
That’s an average of one girlfriend every 5.7 years…

“…and the last girlfriend I had was over five years ago…”

Ooohh well at least he’s almost to the 5.7 year mark!

“...and I thought I was going to marry her. And I think that’s what scares me… if I had married
her, it would’ve been a HUGE mistake. Our relationship was so fucked up… it was NOTHING
like you and me…”

Wait, so our relationship is significantly better than the one with the girl you were willing to
propose to, but you’re not even willing to make me your girlfriend?

“...I just have been caught in this cycle where I start seeing a girl and then after a little while
I’m basically just like, ‘Well, that was fun. Moving on…’ I just get stuck and can’t get more
emotionally involved than that…”

Okay, then what the f are we doing here? I’m not going to be the one to magically change you.

“The difference with you is I went into this from the very beginning wanting something more…
wanting a real relationship. I knew you were different. And I know I have to stop screwing
around. I just need to move really slow…”

Yeah, I’ve heard the “just wait a little bit longer and I promise I’ll be ready” line so many times
it makes me sick to hear it again. I’ve “waited a little bit longer” for over three fucking years for
one guy. Over a year for another. I know the way this story ends. And I’m not going to suffer
through another fucking page this time around.

“I care about you so much and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I know that you deserve
more than I’m giving you. It’s not fair and I understand that. I hate to think that you’re
struggling for answers that I’m not giving you. I am really going to try to work on this…”

Okay, how about… NO. For the first time in my life, I am going to learn from my past. I am
going to make a decision based on what’s best for me longterm, not based on what I want right
now. If you want to be with me and I mean that much to you, then make a real commitment to
me. Otherwise, see ya lata. I’m gone. This game is getting reaaaally old.

“I understand that you need to protect yourself… but why throw something away that is so
good? There hasn’t any negative signs whatsoever, we’ve never fought, everything has been
so great for the past six months... What will happen if you decide to end it just because I can’t
give you a definite answer of what the future will hold? You start dating some other guy, the
same thing happens, but by then you’re even more impatient?”

I don’t know what will happen… But the only thing I have any sort of confidence in is that if I
continue to wait around for someone who cannot commit to me, I’ll be waiting until I work up
the courage to walk away. If you can’t commit now, you can’t commit ever. It’s not like I’m
asking for a ring… all I’m asking for is the uncertainty to be gone. I want it to be real. If that
scares you, I’m sorry. Toughen up.

…And now it is almost two weeks later…

You’ve had almost two weeks to make your decision, and the fact that you haven’t yet means
it’s time for me to make my decision. I’m not going to embarrass myself by bringing it up to
you again.

I guess it’s back to searching for yet another guy who won’t want to be with me.