Miracle?

After being asked to be patient, take it slow, wait a little longer... I decided I was done waiting. I made up my mind that I needed to just end it. People don't change. A guy who isn't a relationship-type guy will never be a relationship-type guy. I wasn't willing to learn that the hard way for what seemed like the millionth time.

And so I told him it was over.


But he wasn't willing to accept that.

The passion I saw in him during that argument made me believe that maybe I was wrong. Maybe history doesn't always repeat itself. Maybe he is being honest, he is trying, maybe he truly wants this relationship to work. Maybe when he spoke to me, he wasn't just using empty words to keep me around, with no intention of ever building a meaningful relationship with me.

Maybe the words that I interpreted as him not caring, were the very words that showed how much he did care. Because the truth is he wasn't ready. Not because he wasn't interested in me, not because I'm not the one for him, not because we didn't have that "connection," but because he has his own past that has screwed him up in different ways than my past has screwed me up.

In the past two months, I have seen such growth... such transformation. My hope and belief in love has been restored. Am I in love with him? I'm not sure yet... but the fact that the possibility exists is amazing to me.

My tendency to believe in some hidden magical goodness and potential in seemingly unavailable men, which has always been a curse to me, may end up finding me true love... just as I was about to give up all hope.