Tuesday, August 11, 2009

On a trip to see the wizard

I have a feeling that as I sit on the top floor of the double decker bus I'm cruising on to Michigan that the Wicked Witch of Someplace-that-aint-Chicago is sitting to meet me.

Why do I feel this way? I dunno know, but trying to write a short on a blackberry is a pain in the dick.

Later

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Craigslist Douche Bags

I love that the douche bags over at Craigslist who do the posting of jobs/gigs, have all met up someplace between 95th street and Addison Ave. for a meeting about how to really fuck the people looking for work in Chicago.

They offer horrible pay to do jobs that, how to say it nicely, I can't, would require a person to scrub the balls of a decayed dog while standing in the blistering sun of Grant Park. O.K. that exact job isn't really posted, but do you get my point?

And beside the fact that they offer these horrible paying jobs, most of the cock suckers must have failed English because most can't write to save their asses.

Some DB (douche bag) has posted today that they are in search of a Personal Assistant. This is his, or her, ad:

Example 1:

Yes i am looking for a responsible person who can be my personal assistance and handle all my mails... So get in touch with me if you want to work with me

[Nobody has asked a question so the sentence should not begin with an answer...i should be I...personal assistance should be Personal Assistant...So, should be so...the remainder of this sentence repeats itself, "get in touch with me if you want to work with me" and needs a period to end the sentence]

Hey smart guy, or girl I guess, beside the obvious that I've already mentioned above, who the fuck else would I contact if I wanted to work with you?


Example 2:

looking for a workers Walgreens parking lot cleaning 20 parking lots a day, IT'S NIGHT TIME STARTS AT 10PM TO 5AM...................1 DAY OFF A WEEK, $1500 A MONTH...........UP TO $2000 A MONTH....................LOOKING FOR A HARD WORKER NIGHT TIME ONLY MUST HAVE DRIVER LIC. AND SOCIAL CALL 847-630-9000 ASK FOR VLAD

[You can read, I haven't the time to edit this shit.]


Please, DB's, we're begging of you, while you offer us horrible money to do the shit jobs that you wont do for yourselves, at least have the tact to write efficiently enough to make it appear that you have some smarts. writing like a douche bag is only going to make those you hire, at least the ones with some brains, work as
hard as you are smart. Which means there wont be a whole lot of work completed. Dumb ass.