Friday, December 4, 2009

She aint comin' home

The crumblin' death of me for all the things I gave her; my heart, my soul, my mind and my trust, is unavoidable. It has eroded the four most precious things that I can give anybody, her truth has. She will not hear me say that I’m sorry for what I did. Nor will she hear my voice echoing in her ears ever again. I'm finally sayin' goodbye.

Close your eyes and sing a lullaby to yourself at night and dream of the freedom I give you by carryin' on, alone. Don’t cry because I’m gone, there will be no tears shed for you by me. It's so insignificant to me now when I look back, those turmoil’s I ventured through everyday, trying to find the right things to say and do, just to make you love me again. Sadly, I wasted far too much of my life trying to attain the unattainable things you have asked for.

I loved you truly, madly, deeply for so long, but as you read this letter, I despise you and everything you pretend to stand for and believe in so you can impress people that you don’t even know. What’s the point in that? What’s the point of trying to impress anyone? The one’s that say they hate you understand what you’re about. The one’s that say they love you don’t even know you.

There will be a wind, eventually, screamin' out your window and waking you in the darkness of a lonely night. That'll be me. Finally screaming and venting the anger you have filled me with the past year.

I'm sure you’ll be better off without me. And maybe whoever it is that you pretend to love next will accept the fact that you don’t really love him for him, but for what he has. I need to do this. I can’t live with myself knowin' that I continually disappointed you. You were a sleek fancy car for me to be seen with. I, your charity case.

Without a whole heart, a broken soul, a mind that has turned into a steamin' pile of Great Dane shit and without the ability to ever trust another person again, I bid you farewell.

Bye-bye my one time lover. Bye-bye....my never friend.

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