"I think you're very passionate," he said. It came to me two days later. Most of the night had been completely forgotten, including the exact number of vodka-tonics I had consumed.
Why did he say that? What were we talking about? Where did it come from? Why is that the only line I can remember from the second half of the night? God dammit, remember the rest of the conversation!
I couldn't shake the feeling that the line was one intended to soften up a harsh message. You know, like when someone says, "I think you have a really nice personality" as a nice way of saying "you're ugly."
"I think you're very passionate..." Why can't I remember ANYTHING else from that conversation? Was he trying to tell me that I'm too smothering? I mean, I've only known the guy a month.
"So you don't call me anymore when you're going out?" he said. Okay, it's starting to come back... I think that was the first thing he said to me when we ran into each other at the bar.
"Well... You didn't call me either," I responded. This all came before the passionate line.
He kept pushing... Why didn't I let him know that I'd be out in the city that night? He had gone to the Bruins game and I had gone out with some friends to a bar right outside the Garden... the same bar where we'd first met. And we just ran into each other. It was completely unexpected.
"I knew when you left yesterday morning that I wouldn't hear from you," he said.
"What do you mean?" I was startled that he could read me so well.
"When you left... I knew you wouldn't contact me until I contacted you."
He was the first (and only) guy I'd slept with since my ex shredded my heart into a million pieces like a pedophile tearing up pornographic photos while the Feds approached his front door. To me, having sex with a new guy was an important step. It was something I needed to do. Otherwise, I would never be able to move on.
"So why didn't you call me?" he persisted.
"Honestly?" I finally gave in. "I didn't know if you wanted to hear from me." I had felt him losing interest the week before I slept with him, but did it anyways to help myself get over my ex.
"Why would you think that?" he asked.
The next part I can't remember at all, but I'm pretty sure it immediately preceded the passionate line.
It's been over a year and a half since I've been out on the prowl for guys. I'm not used to it. I've definitely lost my touch. I think I've probably come off as at least slightly crazy to this guy, considering I basically wouldn't allow him near me for a month until my ex told me (again) that things were over forever and suddenly I wanted to hop in bed and then not talk to him afterwards... But maybe it wouldn't seem so crazy if he knew all that. I'm all for honesty, absolutely, but I don't think it's appropriate to bring up complicated "ex" stories on the first few dates.
Or maybe he doesn't think I'm crazy at all.. If only I could remember what came after "I think you're very passionate.". I mean, who knows? Maybe he meant that in a good way... But then again, there was that text I sent to him one day that said "So what, are you done with me now?" when his interest seemed to decrease slightly. What?? I'm fucking pissed off at guys in general right now. I don't give a shit about this one, I can take it out on him!
At one point during the night, I remember him motioning to a corner and saying "That's where we met." Was that before or after the "passionate" talk? Was it on the first floor of the bar or the fourth? Why can't I piece the night together?
Does any of it matter? I'm done with him.
...before he can be done with me.
Why did he say that? What were we talking about? Where did it come from? Why is that the only line I can remember from the second half of the night? God dammit, remember the rest of the conversation!
I couldn't shake the feeling that the line was one intended to soften up a harsh message. You know, like when someone says, "I think you have a really nice personality" as a nice way of saying "you're ugly."
"I think you're very passionate..." Why can't I remember ANYTHING else from that conversation? Was he trying to tell me that I'm too smothering? I mean, I've only known the guy a month.
"So you don't call me anymore when you're going out?" he said. Okay, it's starting to come back... I think that was the first thing he said to me when we ran into each other at the bar.
"Well... You didn't call me either," I responded. This all came before the passionate line.
He kept pushing... Why didn't I let him know that I'd be out in the city that night? He had gone to the Bruins game and I had gone out with some friends to a bar right outside the Garden... the same bar where we'd first met. And we just ran into each other. It was completely unexpected.
"I knew when you left yesterday morning that I wouldn't hear from you," he said.
"What do you mean?" I was startled that he could read me so well.
"When you left... I knew you wouldn't contact me until I contacted you."
He was the first (and only) guy I'd slept with since my ex shredded my heart into a million pieces like a pedophile tearing up pornographic photos while the Feds approached his front door. To me, having sex with a new guy was an important step. It was something I needed to do. Otherwise, I would never be able to move on.
"So why didn't you call me?" he persisted.
"Honestly?" I finally gave in. "I didn't know if you wanted to hear from me." I had felt him losing interest the week before I slept with him, but did it anyways to help myself get over my ex.
"Why would you think that?" he asked.
The next part I can't remember at all, but I'm pretty sure it immediately preceded the passionate line.
It's been over a year and a half since I've been out on the prowl for guys. I'm not used to it. I've definitely lost my touch. I think I've probably come off as at least slightly crazy to this guy, considering I basically wouldn't allow him near me for a month until my ex told me (again) that things were over forever and suddenly I wanted to hop in bed and then not talk to him afterwards... But maybe it wouldn't seem so crazy if he knew all that. I'm all for honesty, absolutely, but I don't think it's appropriate to bring up complicated "ex" stories on the first few dates.
Or maybe he doesn't think I'm crazy at all.. If only I could remember what came after "I think you're very passionate.". I mean, who knows? Maybe he meant that in a good way... But then again, there was that text I sent to him one day that said "So what, are you done with me now?" when his interest seemed to decrease slightly. What?? I'm fucking pissed off at guys in general right now. I don't give a shit about this one, I can take it out on him!
At one point during the night, I remember him motioning to a corner and saying "That's where we met." Was that before or after the "passionate" talk? Was it on the first floor of the bar or the fourth? Why can't I piece the night together?
Does any of it matter? I'm done with him.
...before he can be done with me.
welcome back Boston.
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