Hey babe, it's been just about a year since you destroyed my world by leaving, taking your love and everything that I thought we were to become, away from me. I hated you for that.
How easy, or how hard, that day may have been for you I will never know because you have not the ability to speak with your one time lover...your one time friend. It must have been easy for you to forget me though. I can never forget a person I've loved. I guess that's one of the differences between you and I; I loved you with everything I had and meant it, you loved me with everything you thought you had, but only said it. I feel this to be truth because forgetting a person you love or have loved somewhere along the way is the same as trying to remember a person you've never met...both impossible feats to do.
I've hoped, prayed, wished and crossed my fingers for your return, but I know you wont be back. Maybe you will, but as a person I will not know. A person so strangely different than the body, mind and soul of the woman I loved. A person who will never know how bad I've missed her.
To take back all the things I said to you, or you to me, would take years, though we weren't together for years. One year, one month and 22 days. Or something like that. The fighting and yelling and screaming are all shadowed by the kissing and cuddling and loving. The tears wiped away with smiles and the broken hearts, both you and I, mended by a love that seemed to be not allowed.
I have forgiven you. I have let you alone. I have love for you, of course, but not like the love I once held.
Damn that woman for making you see things the way she wanted you to. Damn you for not having the courage to tell her to fuck off. And damn me for still feeling it wasn't all my fault. I know it was. Every fight we had I know was ignited by something I did, said, assumed or worried about. I pushed you away. I made you stop loving me. I scared you with my love. And with everything else that was me. Notice...WAS...me.
I'm not the guy you left anymore. I'm different now. Because of you. Thank you.
I've written these words four thousand and twenty-three times over the last 11 months, but what's one more time?
How easy, or how hard, that day may have been for you I will never know because you have not the ability to speak with your one time lover...your one time friend. It must have been easy for you to forget me though. I can never forget a person I've loved. I guess that's one of the differences between you and I; I loved you with everything I had and meant it, you loved me with everything you thought you had, but only said it. I feel this to be truth because forgetting a person you love or have loved somewhere along the way is the same as trying to remember a person you've never met...both impossible feats to do.
I've hoped, prayed, wished and crossed my fingers for your return, but I know you wont be back. Maybe you will, but as a person I will not know. A person so strangely different than the body, mind and soul of the woman I loved. A person who will never know how bad I've missed her.
To take back all the things I said to you, or you to me, would take years, though we weren't together for years. One year, one month and 22 days. Or something like that. The fighting and yelling and screaming are all shadowed by the kissing and cuddling and loving. The tears wiped away with smiles and the broken hearts, both you and I, mended by a love that seemed to be not allowed.
I have forgiven you. I have let you alone. I have love for you, of course, but not like the love I once held.
Damn that woman for making you see things the way she wanted you to. Damn you for not having the courage to tell her to fuck off. And damn me for still feeling it wasn't all my fault. I know it was. Every fight we had I know was ignited by something I did, said, assumed or worried about. I pushed you away. I made you stop loving me. I scared you with my love. And with everything else that was me. Notice...WAS...me.
I'm not the guy you left anymore. I'm different now. Because of you. Thank you.
I've written these words four thousand and twenty-three times over the last 11 months, but what's one more time?
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