Monday, May 17, 2010

Over and Over and Fucking Over

So...I met this girl who is absolutely fucking amazing. She's drop dead gorgeous. She drinks whiskey. She has tattoo's. She is phenomenally jaw dropping in the job she holds. She knows what loss feels like. She has overcame the devastating feelings of a very close loved one who has passed. She knows how to do this, that and the other thing (and I'm not talking about sex). And she makes me want to be a better man.

I told her I was crazy about her. Which I should be. And she told me, ahem, "you don't really know too much about me to be 'crazy' about me."

I told her she was right, but I wanted to know as much as I could about her. I told her I did indeed love everything I already knew about her. She, maybe, brushed it off like the salt from the bar top after a shot of Tequila.

I fear I may have came too strong. Maybe she didn't want to know I thought she was amazing. Excuse me, how I think she is amazing? Maybe she doesn't like the kind of guy I am?

And I know you should never twist work with a relationship, but if she wanted to have a go at one with me, I'd leave the job quicker than the Cubs would lose to the Yankees in the World Series.

This has been the predominate thing in my life for the last decade and a half. Get interested in a girl, take the things she says, or the things she does to me (again, not talking about sex) the wrong way. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed her goodnight the night she gave me a ride home after work. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed her back after she grabbed me while I was trying to get out of the cab we shared a different night after we got off work. And maybe I should just see I can never be good enough for somebody like her.

FUCK!!!

Part 2...We will just be friends. And I'm ok with it. She is much too good of a person for me to not have in my life in some way. I can deal with her just being a friend.

No comments:

Post a Comment